I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
