Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
