Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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