if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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