508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize