Dual....:-)
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
