Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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