Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
