these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
