we're blogging at a bar
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
In other news, I just burned my penis
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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