from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
