i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
