I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
