Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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