i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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