He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
