he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize