I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
