so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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