Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
