i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
