is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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