I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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