thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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