My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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