I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
