Just fell off a train. Bad.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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