she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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