You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
