Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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