News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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