Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
