didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
