whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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