census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
