dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
