I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize