Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
