So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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