dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
