If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
