how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize