If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
