We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
