if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
