what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
