You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I accidentally burped into my bong.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
