Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
