i was born a porn star she said
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
