dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
