Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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