How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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