I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
