at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
