I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize