He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize