I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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