apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
