I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
