hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
