No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize